Boy(son):
-motivated to excersise
-quiet (inspired)
-opposite to what his father was lecturing about having a successful life.
-gothic long black hair
-relationship with uncle
-walked on by parents(does a lot of jobs for them)
-lives his own life
As I sit at this table surrounded by my loved ones, my family, I feel nothing but hatred inside me. No one gets who I am and I don’t blame them. There is a humming silence circling through my body 24/7. There is only one connection between all of us at this table. Awkwardness. I don’t belong here. Why am I here?
September 30, 2014 at 10:08 pm
Hello,
I like the phrase ‘humming silence’ – it works really well. The ending works particularly well.
Target:
1) Use some complex sentence structure to help your piece flow. Constant use of simple structures can make work a little hard to read because of the pace.
2) Try to include visual clues that help provide an insight into your character.
Thanks,
Mr North