Classwork 24/11/14

Athletes are a disgrace. They fight, swear and bite on the pitch. They get paid to play. People like us have to work hard to put food on the table and stay alive. Why should children copy the actions of sportsmen when they fight because they didn’t get their way.

Well In fact, I think athletes should be seen as role models. They are talented in what they do. They only fight in their sports because they share a lot of passion to the game so why is this a problem. I’ve always wanted to be a swimmer or a footballer and so have many other people. Singers are talented in what they do and they can be seen as role models. So why can’t pro football players? I love sport so I support an athlete or a team so I have many role models. There are always statements saying that football players get payed way too much. Whereas I think that it’s a job and that they deserve the amount of money they receive. I like to refer to ‘Gareth Bale’. He started his career at Southampton when he was a boy. He went through the ranks and arrived at Tottenham. From there, he trained hard and become one of spurs best player. This allowed Real Madrid to buy Gareth Bale for a record deal. Now he is a figure of one of the best players in the world. This takes a lot of courage to do this. I certainly wouldn’t be able to do that and most people wouldn’t be able to either.

Sentence that I’m proud of:
-Why should children copy the actions of sportsmen when they fight because they didn’t get their way.

Unclear sentence:
-I certainly wouldn’t be able to do that and most people wouldn’t be able to either.

Re-drafted sentence:
-I believe that we are incapable of achieving this because it needs pure talent.


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